Insults Harassments Looney Revenge
by jyvonne13
Summary: Bugs and Lola have a little fun one day tesing and harassing their friends. But the Looney Tunes won't have it! Please comment, rate , and all that jazz!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Duck in the Crazy Boxers

Lola Bunny was in her front driveway playing a basketball one on one with herself. Gotta keep in shape ya' know?

"You are the one," she mumbled for encouragement. "Make this one half court."

She was concentrating so hard she didn't notice Bugs coming down the sidewalk. "Eh, what's up Lola?"

Lola didn't notice him. Bugs walked over closer to her. "Eh, what's up Lola?"

Lola turned around. "Hi Bugs!" She gave him a hug. "You wanna play?"

Bugs knew he was gonna lose but what the heck. It didn't matter. "Sure, uh, sweetheart." Bugs almost called her "Doll". For some reason Lola didn't like being called doll. And for some reason Bugs always wanted to call her doll.

As always Lola won their game with a score of 10-7 and for once Bugs came pretty close. And since Lola kinda felt sorry for winning _again_ she offered him an ice cold glass of carrot juice which he happily accepted of course.

They went inside and sat down at Lola's kitchen table after she poured two glasses. "So where were you headed before you got here?" she asked.

"Goin' over to Daffy's to see if he's woken up yet," Bugs said. And to annoy him to death.

"I can imagine he sleeps this late," said Lola thinking of Daffy sleeping at 11:50 am. "You still wanna go?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

**

Daffy's front door was open so they walked right in. Bugs figured he wouldn't care.

Daffy was in his bed holding his pillow like a teddy bear, sucking his thumb, and saying in his sleep: "Mommy, let me stay home and make cookies and cupcakes with you." And the bad part was he was sleeping with his butt straight up in the air and he had on TELETUBBIES underwear! That's right, sky blue boxers with each of the Teletubbies on them!

Bugs and Lola couldn't hold it in they fell on the floor cracking up. Daffy jumped up. He looked alarmed at Bugs and Lola on his bedroom floor laughing. "Huh…what…what the heck are you guys doing here?!"

"The…door was…open!" Lola could hardly breathe. She never thought she'd see something so funny!

"Nice boxers Daffs!" said Bugs. But he could hardly get the words out either.

Daffy frowned. First they walk in without permission and then make fun of my Teletubbies! No way! "Bugs wears Teletubbies boxers too. I bet he's wearing them right now!"

"Actually they're Family Guy. And I can prove it!" Bugs said. Bugs dropped his draws revealing black boxers with Stewie and all the other family guy people on them. Then he pulled them back up.

Lola laughed so hard she thought she'd have a stroke. "I cannot believe you just did that!"

"I didn't need to see proof! And anyway I like Po!" said Daffy.

"Is Po even a boy or a girl?" asked Lola slightly recovering from her laughing fit.

"Ask that question about Tinkie Winkie!" said Bugs. "They say he's a boy but why does he carry around the red purse?"

"Tinkie Winkie's a boy thank you!" said Daffy. "And so's Dipsie"

"What kind of name is _DIPSIE!_" Lola asked. "It's like La La's the only normal one."

"La La ain't normal!" said Bugs. "She's about as normal as feather head here!" he said pointing to Daffy.

Daffy's face was turning red again and not from embarrassment this time. This time it was from anger! "You guys better shut up if you know what's good for you!"

"Yeah, right. Coming from someone who thinks it's cool to sit in water all day and wattle around with those big leathery feet!" Bugs made duck wings with his arms and started imitating a bird. Lola fell on the floor again laughing. She couldn't contain her composure.

Daffy was steaming! You could see the steam coming out of his ears. "I said shut up, you stupid rabbits!"

"Why do you talk like that Daffy?" said Lola. "I'm'th Daffy'th and I'm'th a'th stupid'th duck'th," she said spitting on every word.

"I DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT!!!" said Daffy spitting on every word as usual.

Lola laughed again. "Somebody's getting mad. So cute!" said Bugs pinching Daffy's cheeks. Daffy slapped him away.

"YOU #$! RABBITS. You #$# #$%^& - #$%^&**( #$%^&*!!! YOU NEED TO #$%^&*^ GET A LIFE! YOU IDIOTIC #$%^&*%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Daffy cursed.

Bugs cracked another smile. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" asked Lola on the verge of having another laughing fit.

Daffy couldn't take it any longer. Morning was not his favorite thing and these guys were making it worse. "GET OUT YOU #$%^&* RABBITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bugs and Lola walked quickly out the open door still laughing hysterically before Daffy could punch both of their lights out. Daffy threw a pillow at Bugs but missed. "What's a pillow supposed to do duck?" He followed Lola out the door and continued laughing with her.

Daffy started chewing his pillow and clawing at his sheets resisting the urge to run out the door and kill them

"That was fun!" said Lola.

"We should do it again!" said Bugs. "I know! Let's go to Porky Pig's house!"

"Oh Yeah!" said Lola.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Calling a Pig Bacon is Insulting

They walked to Porky Pigs house. He was sitting peacefully on his front porch eating McDonalds and reading Perfecting Your Speech.

"Practice words re…rep…repeatedly every da…da…day," he read.

"Wassup Porky Porkster?!" said Bugs. Lola giggled. Bugs loved calling Porky that. It totally annoyed him.

"Just reading a go…ga…gad…interesting book is all."

Lola leaned over next to him. "You don't need to be eating McDonalds big boy. You could afford to lose the chub." Lola made his cheeks jiggle.

"Ex…ex…excuse me…"

Lola grabbed a handful of fries out of the bag and stuffed them in her mouth. "Pitiful!" she said with her mouth full.

Porky looked in the bag. She ate half his fries in one bite! "You just…you…you."

"I'm fit thank you!" she did a back handspring to prove it.

Bugs clapped and held up a perfect **10 **card.

"It's such a nice day and you waste time reading! You could be at someplace interesting. Like say…the gym!"

"Well…!"

Bugs took off Porky's reading glasses he put them on. "Nice lookin' glasses. You must have some kinda supervision though cuz I can't see out of them." He put the glasses upside down on Porky's face. "You ever tried bacon? Or ham? Well I guess you could eat yourself then, huh?"

Porky was upset now. That was offensive. "Well…I…I…har…her…hardly…"

"You should watch out for farmers. They cut you open and take off your tongues," Bugs said. "Then they sell your intestines in jars at the grocery stores. And they cook every part of your body and call it soul food."

Porky looked horrified. "Oh m…m…my."

Lola looked a little sick too. "Honestly Bugs…"

"They re…real…uh…really…"

"Eee…ah…blah…blah…blah. Spit it out already Bacon," said Bugs.

"Ooh Bacon! Once over lightly please!" Lola said.

"I don't have the time to deal with you! I…I…I…I…I…" Porky grabbed his McDonalds and threw his book on the ground in frustration. Then he stomped inside. He mumbled things like "Dumb rabbits" and "Bacon?! Ham?! Once over lightly?!" and "

"You forgot this!" Lola called. "But your page is lost! Sorry!"

"Yeah you may need it! Come back knowing how to talk like a normal person please!" said Bugs.

Porky stomped back outside and snatched up the book.

"You're lucky I don't eat pork. Now if you were a carrot that would be different," said Bugs. Lola laughed along with him.

Porky stomped inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Pepe le Pu, YOU STINK!

"Now where do we go?!" asked Lola. She was having so much fun.

"Hmmm. Pepe le Pu?" Bugs suggested.

"Alright! Wanna race?" asked Lola.

"You're on!"

They raced to the edge of the street, past the mall, and into the city. First Bugs was in the lead but it looked like it was all over when Lola was leading for a while. They were speeding past red lights and stop signs. They jumped over cars and slid under benches. They jumped over peoples heads. And Lola cut through the ice cream stand. Then it was real close but Bugs won.

"For once I won something. Admit it, I'm naturally faster than you!" said Bugs.

"You got lucky. And you can even beat a turtle!"

"That turtle cheats! And I even beat you the last 3 times we raced! Admit it!"

"Never in my life!" Lola said stubbornly. Even though it was true. Bugs was way faster than her. A couple times he beat her by a landslide.

Bugs tickled her to the ground. Everyone knew Lola was extremely ticklish. "Admit it!"

"Okay…okay…you win!"

"Ha!"

They went into Pepe le Pu's smelly house. They'd never been in there before and it was a little strange. There were sweet smelling candles on the decorative tables. There were a couple framed pictures of Paris, Shakespeare, and, dare I say it, Penelope Pussycat. And coming from the kitchen there was an aroma of weird French food, snails, frogs legs, escargot etc, etc, etc.

Bugs and Lola walked to the back room. Pepe le Pu was sitting on a large sectional couch in a burgundy robe drinking red wine. He looked up surprised to see them. "Bonjour mez amis. How did you get in here?"

"That's not important," said Lola. "The fruity candles aren't working, by the way."

"Excuse` moi?"

"Face it Doc," Bugs put his arm around Pepe's shoulder. "You stink!" said Bugs.

"But…" Pepe couldn't believe it. He did not stink!

"Why do you think Penelope hates you? Yeah that's right, wipe that frown off your face, Doc. Personally if I were her I would've slapped you by now. "

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" Lola screamed.

Bugs and Pepe jumped up and ran to the kitchen where Lola had disappeared to. "What's wrong?" asked Bugs.

Lola was pointing to the snails and escargot. "Eeww! Please tell me you're not going to eat this!"

"They're a delicious delicacy in France ," Pepe said. He was still trying to comprehend that they think he stinks.

"French people are so WEIRD!!!" Lola screamed. "Why can't you eat normal stuff?! And put on some perfume for Pete's sake!!!"

Pepe's mouth was hanging open. The French are weird? He stinks? Not everyone eats escargot? Penelope hates him? But the way she…this was too much in one day.

"Let's get out of here Bugs! I can't stand it!" Lola grabbed Bugs arm and stomped out the door. "Remember what I said smelly. Don't try to date Penelope until you get some odor remover!" Bugs called.

They left with Pepe le Pu standing there with his mouth still hanging open.

**

Over the hills and far away…okay it wasn't far away but it was over a small hill. Either way they passed Penelope Pussycat's house. It was a first that she wasn't being chased by that crazy skunk or have a white stripe down her back.

No, instead of a white stripe she had on a white dress and instead of being chased all the way to Paris she was on her front porch dancing and singing loudly (not to mention badly) on her front porch to her boom box.

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want. I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah."

"I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna really, really, really wanna you to shut up!" said Bugs. Lola gave him a high five for that one and they both laughed.

Penelope's face turned red and she turned off the radio. "You heard that?"

"Girl, they heard you in Paris!" said Lola. "And speaking of Paris do you really think Pepe le Pu stinks because you honestly don't seem to care."

Penelope was about to answer but her phone rang. "Hello...you stink?...uh…" Penelope frowned and paused to think. "No of course not! They did? Well I don't think you do." You could honestly tell she was lying about Pepe not stinking. She hung up.

"Well that answers my question," Lola said. "Get some bad smelling perfume and permanent white hair dye and you'll be a perfect couple." She walked over to Bugs. He was standing there watching the girl session munching a carrot as always. "Come on carrot muncher."

Bugs and Lola started to leave but somehow Bugs tripped over the hose faucet and pulled Lola down with him. They watched as the water filled hose rose into the air and splashed Penelope whose back was turned.

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!" she screamed when she felt the cold water go down her back and soak her.

Bugs and Lola stared with their mouths open for a few seconds then they laughed, and laughed, laughed. They could hardly even get the "I'm sorry" out.

Penelope turned around and saw them screaming with laughter. She made an angry face. This was _not_ funny! But before she could say something Bugs and Lola were gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: It's Dangerous to Play with Dynamite

"Okay so Pepe le Pu wasn't my best idea ever," said Bugs.

"Who in the right mind eats SNAILS?!" Lola couldn't get the picture out of her head.

"Well, that guy doesn't have a right mind," Bugs pointed out.

"True. But it was funny when Pen got soaked! How on earth did you trip anyway?" asked Lola.

"I don't know. I guess I've got to watch where I walk huh? You wanna go to Yosemite Sam's place?"

"Will you carry me?" asked Lola.

Bugs grinned. That was the wrong kind of question to ask. "Of course I'll carry you Sweetie."

Lola hopped on his back. "Ready?" Bugs asked. "Yes!" said Lola.

Bugs took off at full speed. Lola held on for dear life. She'd never realized how fast Bugs was. Bugs went straight into the street. A car was coming at them. "LOOK OUT!" Lola screamed. Bugs jumped over the car. "Slow down!" Lola said. "Faster?" Bugs went even faster even though he knew she said slow down.. Then he went onto the sidewalk which was crowded with people. "SLOW DOWN!" LOLA screamed. Bugs ignored her. This was fun. There was this skate board in the middle of the street and Bugs jumped on.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lola screamed.

Bugs jumped off when they got close to Sam's house. Then he slid to a stop. Lola's eyes were closed. "You can open your eyes now," Bugs said.

Lola jumped off of his back. "Don't EVER do that again!" said Lola. "Will you do it again on the way back?" Lola asked eagerly.

"Course."

They walked up to Sam's house. "Ducks'th are'th so'th stupid'th!" Lola said imitating Daffy.

"I kno…ko…know th…that's right!" Bugs imitated Porky Pig.

They both busted out laughing. Sam ran outside. "WHAT'S ALL THE RACKET VARMITS?!"

Bugs and Lola kept laughing. "Shut up! Lorraine 's sleepin'" Sam said.

Bugs and Lola stared at him. " Lorraine ?" said they asked at the same time.

"Yeah! Get out before I blow you to smitherinies!"

"Don't you think you're a bit short to be talkin' to people like that, Doc?" asked Bugs.

"I'm warnin' ya'!"

"Does your mother know you're out this late?" asked Bugs.

"Isn't it naptime?" asked Lola.

Sam grabbed " Lorraine " off the front porch and shot at them. "I warned you, rabbits!" He kept shooting. "I've got you outnumbered one to two!"

Lola rolled her eyes. "Don't you mean we've got you outnumbered?"

Sam's face turned so red and his vien bugged out so much you could have sworn it popped. The started shooting at least thirty five times.

Bugs and Lola ran up the ladder to the roof. There were fireworks, bombs, dynamite, matches, a cannon, extra guns, bullets, gun powder, gas, and candles up there. "So this is where he keeps this stuff," said Lola.

Sam was on the ground looking for them. "Yoohoo, Mr. Enemy!" Bugs called. Then he dropped a bomb on Sam.

BOOM!!!

"HA! HA! HA!" said Lola.

Sam recovered and shot his gun. Bugs dropped another bomb.

Boom!!!

"Hey Doc, it looks a little dark down there here's some candles!" said Bugs dropping some lit dynamite.

"Thanks!" said Sam when he caught the "candles". 2 seconds later it exploded.

Boom Again!!!

Lola was leaning up against the wall laughing. "Who in the right mind is that dumb!" she said mostly to herself.

Sam shot a bomb at them. "Pass me that bat," Bugs told Lola. Bugs whacked the bomb back at Sam. Lola leaned over the wall. "You thought you could get us back did you!" said Lola.

Sam hit it back at them with another bat. Bugs whacked it back at him. "Is that all you got?!" called Lola.

This time Sam hit 4 bombs. Bugs shot all of them back. Before Sam could hit them they exploded.

BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOm!!! BOOM!!!

Lola and Bugs got off the roof. "Is he still alive?" asked Lola.

"Yeah, he's just in shock," Bugs replied. Bugs dumped a bucket of water on his head.

Sam woke up. "YOU RABBITS BETTER RUN!!!!"

Sam chases Lola and Bugs around the house twice. Three times. Four more times. Lola and Bugs went inside. Bugs put together a whole bunch of bombs and dynamite and set the time for 5 seconds. "Let's get out of here!" He said.  
"5!"

"Is this legal?" asked Lola.

"4!"  
"I don't know," said Bugs.

"3!"

"Cover your ears," said Bugs.

"2!" Sam was still inside searching for them when he noticed the bombs.

"1!"

"Oh snap!" said Sam.

BOOM!!!!  
Bugs and Lola walked away screaming with laughter.

Sam was sitting in ashes covered in gun powder. "Tuesday's, applesauce day," he said dazed. Then he fell backwards.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:"Plots to Blow Mars Into Subatomic Space Dust Make Me Very Angry!"

"Hey, you know what? I hear Marvin the Martian in on vacation here," said Lola.

"Great. Do you know what he'd say if we told him Mars is gone?" asked Bugs.

"Even better." Lola thought. "Find some fireworks. I've got an idea."

**

They got their fireworks and started walking to the WB INN.

"What exactly are we about to do?" asked Bugs.

"Blow up Mars," Lola said calmly.

"With fireworks?" Bugs didn't get it. You can't blow up a planet with just a few fireworks.

"We're going to make him think we did it," said Lola. This was gonna be good.

"This is why I love you. You're so devious."

Marvin was sitting on a red lawn chair, eating cherries, and drinking punch. His faithful companion K-9 was sitting next to him.

Marvin saw them coming. He stared as they set up the fireworks at the angle they thought was Mars.

"What exactically are you Earthlies doing?" Marvin asked.

"We don't like Mars," said Bugs.

"It's dumb so were going to blow it up," said Lola.

Marvin stared at them, then their fireworks, then the sky.

"Especially the people there," Lola continued.

"They're called Martians and…"

"Whatever they are were going to blow them up. Lucky you went on vacation huh?" said Bugs.

"What have you got against us?" asked Marvin.

"Yeah, what have you got against us?" K-9 repeated.

"Oh, lots of stuff, Doc. You're from Mars for one thing," said Bugs. Bugs rubbed the match on his foot to light it.

"There are tons of things wrong with Earthlies," said Marvin.

"Yeah, tons of things," K-9 repeated.

"And you're little getup there went out last season. Red and green? Puh-lease! Try purple," said Lola.

"I'll have you know this is all the rage on Mars," said Marvin.

"Yeah, it's all the rage," K-9 repeated.

"Won't be long now. Might as well sit back and watch," said Bugs. Him and Lola sat on the ground and watched the sky.

Marvin pulled out his vaporizer. "Disarm your weapons or I will vaporize you on the spot!"

"Yeah, he'll vaporize you!" K-9 repeated.

Marvin hit him on the head with the vaporizer. "I'll be doing the talking thank you."

K-9 saluted him. "Yes Sir."

BOOM!!!

The fireworks shot into the air and exploded into a flash of red light. In the background someone said "Is it the fourth of July already?"

Marvin's eyes got wide. Then they got very angry. He stared into the sky. "Plots to blow Mars into subatomic space dust make me very angry." He turned to Bugs and Lola. "And you two have made me VERY ANGRY!!!" Marvin and K-9 chased them.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Why Sylvester and Wile E. Waste Their Time: Secrets Revealed!

They ran all the way to the desert. Bugs and Lola split up and hid. Marvin and K-9 could no longer find then so they went back to the WB INN.

Unfortunately Bugs had made the mistake of jumping into a cactus bush. He had tried hard to be quiet so those crazy Martians wouldn't vaporize him. He didn't know what vaporize meant but he knew it wasn't good.

He stepped out of the bush. "OOOWWW!!!!" he shouted.

Lola ran over to him and gasped. Bugs was covered in cactus needles. "What happened to you?"

"Who cares what happened just get them off!"

Lola laid him of the ground and started plucking the needles out. "You really need to pay attention to the bushes you jump in."

She pulled three more out. "OW! I realize that now," said Bugs.

They sat there for another ten minutes. "Last ones," said Lola.

"Finally!" said Bugs. This pain was not funny!

There were about 20 stuck in his tail. Lola grabbed them all at once. "You may wanna cover your ears," she said.

"Why should I…OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bugs screamed so loud he woke up all who were sleeping and made those who were awake think there was a terrorist attack.

Bugs lay on the ground covering his eyes. "Come on smartness," said Lola pulling on him to get up. Bugs didn't move. "Leave me here. I'll rot away and vultures' can eat me."

"You are so dramatic! Get up," Lola said. "I hear there's snakes around here." Bugs jumped on her back. "Where?!" he looked around and didn't see anything. Still, he wasn't taking any chances. Then he realized Lola was kidding. He slowly climbed down. "Not that I'm afraid of snakes or anythin'."

"Sure cactus man," said Lola walking away. Bugs followed her.

They noticed Sylvester and Wile E. sitting on the ground with notepads. Bugs and Lola looked over their heads at what they were writing. The top of Wile's said: PLANS TO CAPTURE ROAD RUNNER and Sylvester's said: PLANS TO CAPTURE TWEETY.

"What no carrying out your plans today?" asked Lola.

"No," said Sylvester.

"No hurting yourselves in attempt to eat?" asked Bugs.

Wile shook his head.

"You two really need to get a hobby!" said Lola.

"It gives us a goal," said Sylvester.

"The goal of getting anvils dropped on your head's and falling off cliffs. And what happens? Every day you lose," said Bugs.

"Exactly…HEY!" said Sylvester. "Aw, sufferin' succotash, just forget it."

Lola wiped her face. "You and Daffy really need to get help for that spitting problem of yours. It's just disgusting. "

"A problem!" Sylvester exclaimed. He turned back to Wile. "Ooh, that's good. I say I sneak into the room when the old lady's gone and then while he least expects it, I snatch him up and finally after all my years I'll finally have that dumb canary!" Sylvester's eyes looked wild an one was twitching, his teeth were showing, and he was deviously rubbing his paws together. Added to the fact he was drooling, he looked positively mad!

"Easy there feline," said Bugs patting him on the back. "Now, how exactly do you expect to do this?"

Sylvester's enthusiasm died a little. "I don't know."

"You guys really, really need to get a hobby," said Lola.

"You two are so stupid," Bugs said.

Wile raised his eyebrows.

"I mean, you sit here all day making plans and tomorrow you're going to try to catch Road Runner and Tweety. That is so pointless. Tell me, why do you really do it?"

Sylvester and Wile thought. Wile E. held up a sign that said "Determination, aggravation, humiliation, irritation…"

"Please stop saying words that end with tion. It's annoying," said Lola.

"Why don't you just talk?!" asked Bugs.

Wile E. shrugged. He held up another sign that said "Who knows who cares?"

"And well, because it's a habit. And those guys have pretty much grown on us. And anyway it's fun," said Sylvester. He'd never really thought about it before so he said his best answer.

"And because you're dumb," said Bugs.

"Yeah," Sylvester said.

Bugs and Lola laughed. "So you are dumb!" said Lola.

"No. No!" said Sylvester realizing what he said.

Bugs and Lola looked at each other. "You guys are totally dumb!" said Bugs. "Why go around breakin' your neck if you know you're gonna lose to a couple of birds?"

"When you think about it, why don't you just buy a Road Runner or even a can of cat food? Ha! Feline's," said Lola. These guys make no sense.

"Well why go through all that trouble to dig a rabbit hole? Or pull carrots out of the ground? Or hop around like the ground is on fire? Huh? Yeah, you don't know!" exclaimed Sylvester.

Bugs and Lola giggled. "Because the only strategy it requires is strong legs and arms!" said Lola.

"Yeah, that's something you probably don't have," Bugs said still laughing at Sylvester and Wile E.'s dumbstruck faces. Bugs and Lola laughed.

Sylvester was getting really fed up with those two. Here him and Wile were sitting peacefully thinking up plans and then those rabbits come along calling them dumb and senseless and accusing them of using too many tion words! "Kick rocks!" he said.

"Kick the bucket!" said Bugs.

"I don't plan on doing that for at least another eighty years," Sylvester said.

"Why? It's right there," said Bugs pointing to the bucket just a few feet away from them. Him and Lola laughed at Sylvester's dumbstruck face. He actually thought he meant die! Bugs isn't that mean…most of the time.

Sylvester couldn't think of anything else to say so he said, "So's your face!"

This only made Bugs and Lola laugh even more. "What does that have to do with anything?!" asked Lola. Her and Bugs left the scene talking about Sylvester and Wile E. as they walked down the road.

Wile looked at Sylvester as if to say "What kind of comeback was that?"

"Look, if you thought it was bad, why didn't you say something?!"

Wile E. didn't say anything.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Don't Mess With Lola Bunny!

Bugs and Lola were walking back towards the city. Bugs pulled a carrot out of his pocket. He knew he was smart to bring that thing. He was starving.

"You got another one?" asked Lola. Now that Bugs brought it up she realized she was starving too.

"Yeah," said Bugs pulling out another one. "Here you go Sweetheart."

"Thanks, Darling."

They walked a little while longer. Beaky Buzzard swooped down on them. He had another name too but every one called him Beaky Buzzard.

Lola ducked. "Yo!"

Buzzard swooped down again. This time he hit his nose hard on the ground.

"You okay?" Lola asked. She was biting her tongue off trying not to laugh at him.

"What you doin' out here, Doc?"

"I'm uh…uh…no don't tell me, don't tell me! I'm uh…pickin' up some dinner." Quick fact about Beaky Buzzard, he was extremely dumb!

"Oh really? What's cookin'?" asked Bugs. He remembered the last time he'd seen Buzzard, he was picking up some dinner and…well it's a long story.

"It's a uh…uh…a uh…"

Lola cracked a smile. She'd never met Buzzard before and she couldn't imagine anyone being so stupid. "Well?"

"Uh, I think it's a rabbit," Buzzard said.

"Ok," said Bugs. "Have you found one yet?"

"No. Have you?"

Lola was turning red trying to hold in her laugh. Nobody is that dumb. "Well have you seen someone with long ears like this?" she said pointing to her and Bugs' ears.

"Uh, no," Buzzard said.

"Well, have you seen anyone with big feet like this?" Bugs said pointing to his and Lola's feet.

"Uh, no."

Lola giggled. Bugs bit his carrot. "Neither have we," Bugs said.

"How about you let us know when you do?" said Lola.

"Okay!" said Buzzard flying away. Hmm, maybe I have seen a rabbit.

"Was that guy dropped on his head or something?" asked Lola. She was laughing so hard.

"I don't know but his mother should put him in a mental hospital if she knows what's good for him," said Bugs.

"You got any more carrots?" asked Lola. She was still starving.

"Two left. We've gotta get some food. I'm gonna die in da next hour," said Bugs taking out his last two carrots.

"Tell me about it. Thanks."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," said Bugs.

So instead of teasing everybody and getting on their last stinkin' nerves, Bugs and Lola were bent on food, particularly carrots. But hey, their rabbits, what can you say?

Well at least it stayed that way for about 5 minutes. They were coming up to Old McDonalds farm. Right by the gate was Foghorn Leghorn beating up the barnyard dog for no particular reason.

"Now you go on with your business," said Foghorn.

"But I didn't do anything!" said the dog. All he had been doing was sitting on the porch minding his business when that dumb chicken grabbed his tail and started beating him up with a stick.

Foghorn picked up the dogs tail and started spanking him with the stick again. "I say, I said go on with your business!" The dog left.

"Now Doc, you haven't got any right beatin' up anyone whose smaller than you. You should know that's a big no-no," said Bugs.

"Well I say, I need somethin' to keep me occupied during the day. And crowing at the crack of dawn don't cut it."

"So you'd rather have something else to do than sit around like a big fat lazy dog?" said Lola.

"I say, it's not being fat, it's living large," said Foghorn. "And I'm not a dog, I'm a chicken, rooster that is."

"Whatever you say," said Lola.

Before they could say anything else about Foghorn that would make him mad for their entertainment, they saw a real tiny guy walking by.

"What are you doing here without supervision kid? Don't you know that's dangerous?" said Bugs.

"I'm trying to catch a chicken!" said Henry Hawk. "Are you a chicken?"

"No, but you should ask that guy," said Bugs pointing to Foghorn.

"I say, kid if you're gonna try to catch a chicken shouldn't you know what one looks like?" asked Foghorn. "I'm a chicken, rooster that is."

"You're not a chicken! My daddy told me you're a big fat lazy dog," said Henry Hawk. "You're a chicken!" he said pointing to Lola.

"Who you callin' a chicken?" she said.

"You. Come with me. My Daddy's gonna be so proud that I caught my first chicken!"

"Why can't you understand that he's a chicken?" said Lola pointing to Foghorn Leghorn. "I'm a rabbit! You're more of a chicken than I am."

"Well if you're not a chicken you must be that loud mouth schnook my daddy told me about!"

"Did you miss the memo?! I'm not a chicken or a loud mouth schnook, I'm a rabbit you idiot!"

"Aw, shut up schnook!"

"Shut don't go up, prices do. So take your advice and shut up too!" said Lola. She was seriously getting tired of this kid.

"Oh!" said Bugs and Foghorn. "Tell him Lola!" said Bugs.

"I don't need you to tell me what's what girly! My daddy told me. You're such an airhead! Those ears are making you wind resistant! It's blowing out your brains!"

"I say!" said Foghorn.

"At least I have enough brains to know the difference between rabbits, chickens, and loud mouth schnooks!" Lola Bunny was not about to take being called dumb by this kid.

"Yeah!" said Bugs.

"You rabbits sure aren't very bright are you?"

"Ah!" said Foghorn.

"I can say the same about you. First you say I'm a chicken, then a loud mouth schnook, but then admit I'm a rabbit!"

"Just wind resistant!" said Henry Hawk making fake ears with his arms.

"Maybe the wind is blowing your brains out! You hawks spend all your time flying in circles, anyway!" said Lola.

"Tell him!" said Bugs.

"At least I don't spend all my time hopping around eating carrots!" said Henry.

"Well I don't spend all my time trying to catch a chicken! I'd try to catch something my own size if I were you. Like maybe, and ant!"

"Ow!" said Bugs and Foghorn.

"At least I don't spend all my time kissing Bugs! That's why you two are always at his house every night!" Henry could tell by the enraged look on Lola's face that he'd gotten her. There was a smug look on his face.

"Ah! I say, nice on Henry!"

Bugs wasn't expecting that one either. He was mad too! "Lola if you don't kick his butt…!"

Lola balled up her fists and bit her lip. This guy was about to get it! "Nobody talks about my love life like that!!!!!!!!"

"And maybe you're a mutated man. You have waaay too much athletic skills to be a girl!"

"Whoa!" Bugs and Foghorn said. Bugs knew Lola and she hated those who thought girls weren't as tough and strong as guys.

Lola was furious. She more than furious, she was…well there's no word for it. There were many vile and degrading things you could say about women. And that was one of them. "You're asking for it kid!"

Henry put up his fists. "You wanna fight it out?!"

"I thought you'd never ask!"

"Bring it on!"

Lola bent down and punched Henry Hawk right square in the nose with so much force he flew across the field and hit the fence.

"I say, ow!" said Foghorn. "I felt that one."

Lola walked over to Bugs. "Let's get out of here. I never want to see that guy again!" Bugs didn't say anything. He figured it was best to let a woman cool down first.

"Good-bye! And come back soon!" said Foghorn.

Lola was still mad. "Aw, shut up ya' lazy dog!"

"I say…."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:What Season Is It?

Bugs and Lola walked down the street. "You alright?" asked Bugs. He could tell Lola was still upset.

Lola looked at him. "Yeah. Oh yeah, sure, I'm alright." Lola smiled. "But I swear if I see that kid again…"

Bugs heard a gunshot. And sure enough there was Daffy Duck getting chased by Elmer Fudd.

"Does that guy _ever_ quit?" asked Lola.

"Never in a day, girl," said Bugs. "Wassup Duck?"

"Please tell this guy its rabbit season!" said Daffy. He remembered this morning and was wondering whether he should take this opportunity to shoot Bugs and Lola on the spot.

Bugs put his arm over Elmer's shoulders. "Alright Doc, you're a hunter, right?"

"Yeah."

"And the least you could do is keep up with what season it is, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well for the record it is duck season," Bugs said. Daffy's mouth dropped.

Elmer raised his gun and shot the duck. Daffy's mouth fell on the ground. He picked it up and he put it back on. He glared at Bugs' sly look.

Lola giggled.

"I'm sorry fella's, I seem to have forgotten what season it is," said Elmer.

"Elmer my friend, your mind is very slow, is it?" said Bugs.

"Yeah…hey wait a minute…"

"I suggest you get help for that," said Bugs. Elmer was slow so he could say these things, ya' know? "Now once again, it is _duck season_."

Elmer raised his gun. "WAIT!" said Daffy. "It's rabbit season!"

"Duck season," said Bugs. This was about to get interesting.

"Rabbit season!"

"Rabbit Season."

"Rabbit season."

"Duck season."

"Rabbit season."

"Duck season."

Lola walked over to Elmer. "You see what you put up with? Every time you stand here and listen to this. Why don't you hunt someone else?"

"Uh…well…i…uh…" Elmer Fudd couldn't answer that one.

"Yeah I thought so. Why don't you take a break? Go to an asylum perhaps?"

Elmer thought. "Hey!" I am not crazy! He walked over to Bugs and Daffy. "Hey fella's, what season is it?"

"Duck season!" said Bugs.

"Rabbit season!" said Daffy.

Lola rolled her eyes. This was not getting anywhere. She put on a long jacket, thick glassed, and a GAME WARDEN badge. Obviously she'd have to take matters into her own hands.

"Excuse me sir are you wondering what season it is?"

"Yes please mister game warden," said Elmer. At this point he was really confused.

"Well it's," Lola tried not to laugh. She knew it was mean but she couldn't help it! "Duck season."

Elmer raised his gun. "WAIT!" said Daffy. "Are you gonna believe that?! Are you smart?! It's RABBIT season!"

"I haven't got all day. So let's say that I'm not smart. Hey, what did I just say? Oh well." He raised his gun again and shot at the duck. Daffy's mouth flew off again. He put it back on.

Bugs and Lola were on the ground laughing now. "Nice one Lola!" said Bugs. "Did you see his face when he said he wasn't smart?!" said Lola.

Daffy looked at them with a positively devilish face. This made them laugh even more. "All rabbits are despicable!!!" He snatched Elmer Fudds gun. He had had enough of them for one day! He aimed at the "despicable rabbits."

"Uh, oh!" said Lola. Both of them took off running before Daffy could decide whether he was bold enough to use the gun in the first place.

"Give me that gun! I've got some rabbits to go after!" said Elmer. He was still sore at them for laughing at him and calling him dumb.

"What happened to duck season?" Daffy asked. He immediately wished he could take it back.

"I don't care what season it is I want me a rabbit!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Crusher Goes By Instinct, Not Brains

Bugs and Lola ran all the way back to the city. They were still laughing it up too.

"Would Daffy have really used that gun?" asked Lola catching her breath.

"No way. He was just trying to seem threatening so we'd leave him alone. Like that'll ever happen," said Bugs.

"You wanna cut through the gym?" asked Lola. It was quicker than the sidewalk.

"Yeah, sure."

So they walked through the gym doors and found none other than the Crusher who was strong in the wrestling department but nothing else. He was at the moment punching a punching bag without gloves.

"Do you know it's illegal to punch a punching bag without gloves'?" asked Lola. She picked up a pair of boxing gloves. "Besides you're not doing it right." She started to punch the punching bag like a pro boxer.

Bugs was like, wow! He didn't know Lola could punch like that. Well he should have the way she punched Henry Hawk. She tossed Bugs the gloves. "That's how you do it."

The Crusher frowned. He didn't like others trying to tell him how to do his job. He ran at her. "Lola look out!" Bugs warned Lola whose back was turned. He kicked out her foot and tripped the Crusher sending him tumbling to the ground.

Bugs and Lola laughed. "Nice one!" said Bugs giving her a high five. He turned to the Crusher who was just getting up. "So Crusher what do you do for a living?" Bugs asked sarcastically.

"I crush!" Crusher said proudly.

"Uh, huh. Nice hobby. But have you ever tried another sport? Something more constructive like, um…uh." He turned to Lola and whispered "Give me a sport."

"Uh, croquet?" she suggested.

"Croquet!" said Bugs. "Ever thought of croquet?"

"What's croquet?"

Bugs thought. Then he turned to Lola again and asked "What's croquet?"

"It's when you hit balls through hoops with a stick," said Lola.

"Yeah what she said!" said Bugs. "Let me show you," said Lola.

**

A few minutes later Lola had set up a croquet game. She hit the ball through the hoop with the stick. Then she handed the stick to the Crusher. "You try."

Crusher was trying to hit the balls like base balls. After five tries the ball was still in the same spot.

"Hey Crusher, think more golf than baseball," said Bugs.

Crusher tried to hit the ball again but missed. Then he got angry and started to crush the croquet stick. Then he tripped over his own feet and went tumbling across the room. His boxing shorts snagged a piece of broken croquet stick and left a nice sized hole revealing pink polka dotted underwear which was thankfully not as bad as Daffy's Teletubbies.

"Ow," said Lola. Her and Bugs started to laugh. And then laugh more. And more. "Nice butt Crusher!!!" Lola said.

"How was the trip Crusher? Did you have a nice fall?!" said Bugs. That was totally corny but the two of them probably broke their spines laughing at it!

Lola and Bugs laughed for a long time throwing out crazy comments.

The Crusher finally lost it so he ran at them again. They both moved out the way when he was two inches in front of them. Crusher ended up slamming head first into the brick wall.

Bugs and Lola started screaming with laughter. "Hey Crusher, I thought you crush things, not get crushed!!!" said Bugs. Lola fell on the floor laughing.

Eventually they got enough composure to leave. The Crusher started howling. And I mean literally _howling_ like a wolf! This made Bugs and Lola laugh even more.

"That guy is crazy! How exactly is he the best wrestler on the continent?!" asked Bugs when they got to the door.

"Bugs, that guy doesn't go by brains, he goes by instinct. That's why he's so dumb. He doesn't have brains!" Lola explained. "And he only has one gear."

"What's that?" asked Bugs.

"Foreward. Like I said, instinct not brains."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: "La Cucaracha"

Speedy Gonzales was sitting outside a Mexican restaurant tapping his foot impatiently. He was waiting for Slowpoke Rodriguez. He knew he should have just picked him up. He'd been waiting for over an hour.

Bugs and Lola walked past still laughing about the Crusher and his little incident. Bugs mentioned when Crusher tripped and Lola had to hold him for support because she was laughing so hard.

"Hola!" Speedy called. "Have you seen my cousin Slowpoke?"

"Sure haven't shortie. Have you seen Elmer Fudds brain?" asked Bugs. He and Lola started laughing again.

Speedy rolled his eyes. Rabbits are so dumb. "Ay! Where is he? I've benn here forever," he said to himself.

"Maybe you shouldn't let someone named _Slowpoke_ come here by himself," said Bugs.

"You may be a fast runner but you've got some fast patience too," said Lola.

"Well I am the fastest mouse in the continental North America ," Speedy said proudly.

"You couldn't beat Bugs. He's extremely fast!" said Lola.

"You trying to start a challenge? I can beat anyone! I'm so fats I can cook a three minute egg in two minutes!" said Speedy.

"You're on!" said Bugs. This in gonna be good!

"From here to the amusement park?" asked Speedy.

"Yeah!" said Bugs.

Lola decided to give Bugs a quick pep talk. "You'd better win this! You're built for this kind of thing! You've got the power, the speed, and an airflow chasse! Don't let a mouse show you up!" said Lola.

"Alright," said Bugs jogging in place to get motivated. "I'm ready!" Lola kissed him on the cheek for energy and motivation.

"Come on rabbit! Your backing out already el pollo?" said Speedy.

"Yeah right!" said Bugs.

Lola sped to the amusement park so she can see who wins.

"Uno, dos, tres, go!" said Speedy. Bugs took off. He flew like the wind. He focused on Lola who was gradually getting closer. He went faster. As fast as his legs could carry him. And finally he was there.

"And the winner is…Speedy!" Lola said.

"Take that!" said Speedy.

Bugs couldn't believe it! A mouse beat him in a race! "Beginners luck! I call a rematch!"

"Si, Si"

They got back to the Mexican restaurant. "Uno, dos, tres, go!"

Bugs went even faster than before. It seemed like he wasn't on the ground. _Eyes on the prize Bugs Bunny, eyes on the prize!_

"And the winner is…Speedy!" Lola said again.

"Admit that I'm faster than you!" said Speedy.

"Never! And I'm still better. You know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat in my head! You couldn't reach!" Bugs had no idea what he was talking about but it sounded good. Lola looked at him like he was crazy.

Speedy took off his hat and bowed. "Gracias!" Then he gracefully put it back on.

"REMATCH!" said Bugs.

"Uno, dos, tres, go!"

Bugs got to the amusement park in 10.5 seconds flat. Please say I won! Please say I won!

"And the winner is…Speedy!" Lola repeated.

"WHAT!!!"

Bugs and Lola walked back to the Mexican restaurant. Speedy ran way ahead of them. Bugs' eye was twitching the whole time. "I don't understand it. He's not much bigger than my toe! He doesn't have lucky rabbits feet! He doesn't have an athletes physique! Yeah! He doesn't eat lemon merangoo pie with a carrot filling!"

"What does that have to do with it? And you pronounced meringue wrong," Lola pointed out. 

"Don't see why it matters. I just don't understand how he did it!!!"

"Te presento la cucaracha! La cucaracha, la cucaracha ya no puede caminar porque le falta porque no tiene una pata para anar una coso no comprendo los hombres grandes con Nintendo!" Speedy sang.

"Te presento la cucaracha! La cucaracha, la cucaracha ya no puede caminar porque le falta porque no tiene una pata para anar una coso no comprendo los hombres grandes con Nintendo!" Someone sang very slowly. They all turned around and saw Slowpoke Rodriguez walking down the sidewalk. He was walking very slowly as usual.

Five minutes later…

"Te presento la cucaracha! La cucaracha, la cucaracha." Slowpoke Rodriguez had moved approximately 2 inches in 5 minutes! Bugs and Lola were sitting against the wall eating carrots they got from inside. They got up and decided to have some fun.

"What time did you leave the house this morning?" asked Lola.

"6:00 am," Slowpoke answered slowly.

"And you're just now getting here?"

"Yes."

Lola giggled.

"Were you this slow in school?" asked Bugs.

"Yes."

Lola understood what Bugs was talking about and she busted out laughing with him. "Must have been a school for the mentally ill!" said Lola.

"Maybe he's crippled!" Bugs said.

"Or that hat is too heavy for him!" said Lola. "Slowpoke you're so slow! Slowpoke you're so slow! It's just so unnatural! Maybe you should get, help for that, because it may be a serious problem!" Lola sang to the tune of la cucaracha.

Bugs and Lola fell on the ground laughing. Bugs gave Lola a high five.

"You rabbits are asking for it! I'll come after you." Slowpoke said slowly. Then he did his extremely slow version of running.

"Oh no he's coming after us Bugs!" Lola said sarcastically.

"We'd better move in a half an hour!" Bugs said. He started running in slow motion and Lola joined him. "Ssslllooowww!!!"

Speedy Gonzales ran to the rescue singing la cucaracha on the way. "Knock it off rabbits! Or I'll have you hung by your ears!"

"You couldn't reach our ears!" said Lola. "Your arms aren't long enough and you're too short anyway. Maybe you should've eaten your vegetables instead of all those enchiladas!"

Slowpoke started slowly swinging his fists. "Come get some, fiends!"

Lola laughed. Bugs picked him up and put him on top of the door frame. "Let's see you get out of that!"

Speedy's mouth dropped. He started jumping and swinging his fists. "You sad sick rabbits!"

"Instead of getting mad at us Doc, you should save your friend before he loses it," said Bugs. He took Lola's hand and they walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: When You Make Tweety Bird Cry, That's When Things Get Personal

Bugs and Lola spent the next fifteen minutes laughing it up at everyone and getting on their last nerves.

For example, they went to Sylvester Jr.'s school and said something insulting to just about every student for the fun of it. They even said the 22 year old, Asian teacher was a bad influence on the students.

To make a long story short they came across Penelope, Road Runner, Marc Anthony, Pussyfoot, Bertie, Hubie, and Wile E.

Their last stop was Tweety Bird. They went up to his apartment and found him swinging on his little swing in his cage.

Lola slammed the door behind her to try to act scary. "Tweety Bird," she said.

Tweety turned around. He turned back around. "I tawt I taw two rabbits!" He turned back around and back. "I did, I did taw two rabbits!"

"Hi Tweety Pie!" said Lola.

"I tink I taw a Tweety Bird! I did I did taw a Tweety Bird!" Bugs imitated Tweety.

Tweety laughed. "You're funny!"

"We saw your cat Sylvester today," said Lola.

"Next time you see him give him one of those weakling Tweety smacks!" said Bugs.

"Tweety smacks are stwong!" Tweety puffed out his chest trying to look tough.

"Not even!" said Lola tickling him.

"You know Doc, you spend half your time running away from cats. You should just come right out and say, I'm Tweety Bird and I don't take that stuff! Unless of course if you threaten me which you can easily do because I'm so tiny!" Bugs laughed at his own joke.

Lola shook her head. "No, it's got to be more like, Tweety Bird is a scared and timid little bird that can be easily pushed around by Sylvester if he wanted to. All I want to do is hide away in my cage!" Lola giggled.

Tweety frowned. "What's that s'posed to mean? Tweety Bird happens to be a tough camper!"

"Tweety Pie, you've never been camping a day in your life," Lola pointed out.

"King of mispwonounced words!" said Bugs. "I'm Tweety and I'm so tweet because I mispwonounce words and talk like a baby!"

Tweety was getting mad! Now Bugs and Lola were just being mean. "I'm not a baby! And you mispwonounce words too Bugs!"

"Whatever you say sir Tweets-a-lot!" Bugs said. He sure wasn't about to admit it was true, like when he said lemon merangoo pie earlier. But still him and Lola laughed it up at that "sir Tweets-a-lot" thing.

"Tweety, have you ever had a girlfriend?" asked Lola.

"Yeah, Aooga," Tweety said. That made him think, I'm gonna have to go visit her…

"That's surprising!" said Lola. She started laughing.

"You don't think I'm tweet?!" asked Tweety.

"Tweety, you're just baby cute. Like a two year old," Lola said.

Bugs looked out the window. They were on the 24th floor and it was very high up. "Tweety, do you ever get scared looking out of this window? It's so high. That's a death drop right there you know?"

"Well…" Now that Bugs mentioned it…

Bugs took Tweety out of his cage. He dangled Tweety outside the window over top of the highway. He would never do this for real, but it was good to get a good laugh.

Tweety kicked and screamed, and tried to move but Bugs was stronger than him. "NO! DON'T DO IT!!! I'VE STILL GOT A LIFE!! AAAAHHH!" Tears came into Tweety's eyes. He actually thought Bugs would drop him.

Lola laughed with Bugs as Tweety struggled. It was mean but that was the least of their problems at the moment. Bugs saw Tweety about to cry so he put him back in his cage.

"YOU GUYS ARE MEAN!!!" Tweety cried.

Bugs and Lola were still laughing. "Tweety, it's okay! You can fly!" Lola laughed.

Tweety cried. Now he was humiliated because he forgot he could fly. In desperate situations Tweety sometimes forgets he can fly. "GET OUT!!!" he yelled.

Bugs and Lola got up and walked towards the door still laughing. "See ya bird brain!" said Bugs.

They started walking towards the nearest restaurant, their destination from over an hour ago if not more. They were still laughing.

"Bugsy, that was mean!" Lola laughed.

"You're the one who played along!" Bugs laughed. He really wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and tripped over a trash can, fell in head first, and rolled a couple feet. He got out. "Ouch!"

Lola knelt down beside him. "You okay?" she started to pick the fried rice out of his ears.

"Yeah, I guess. Just my dignity was hurt."

"What happened to watching where you walk?" asked Lola.

"I'm still working on it," Bugs said.

Lola giggled and kissed him. Then rubbed his ears and helped him get up. "It helps not to be so clumsy."

Bugs smiled. Lola took such good care of him. She needed to since Bugs could be clumsy every once in a while, and today was not his day. But still, Bugs was way too proud and stubborn to admit that to anyone. "I'm not clumsy. I just wasn't paying attention."

"Okay."

**

Porky Pig was walking past Tweety and Granny's apartment. He heard someone crying. He ran up to their apartment and found Tweety sobbing. "What's the ma…mott…eh, what's wrong?"

"Bugs and Lola tried to toss me out the window!" Tweety cried.

Porky frowned. Those idiots. They have no lives. He realized that Tweety could fly but decided this was not exactly the right moment to point that out to him.

The Looney Tunes (except for Sylvester) have this unspoken sick up for Tweety if he really needed it policy. I mean, Tweety is just so cute and defenseless. Okay maybe not defenseless but he's still adorable!

Porky was mad too, and he knew now that he really should go after them. "Let's go…out…outside."

Once they got out there they saw Marvin The Martian and K-9 coming around the corner looking like they'd just been mourning over a loved one.

Then came Daffy Duck looking positively evil. Right behind him was Road Runner. Wile E. also looked deadly with bloodshot eyes and his claws were showing. Then a whole bunch of people came around looking like they wanted to hurt someone. Porky could guess who it was: Bugs and Lola.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: REVENGE!!!

"What is wrong with everybody?" asked Porky.

"Their names are Bugs and Lola!" said Sylvester.

"I say, they called me a lazy dog. I say, I'm not even a dog!" said Foghorn Leghorn.

"Those earthlies blew up Mars!!!!!!" Marvin shouted in grief.

"What's wrong with Tweety Pie?" asked Penelope.

Tweety wiped his eyes. "They made me cry."

"No!" said a couple people. "When you make Tweety Bird cry that's when it gets personale`," said Speedy Gonzales.

"Those two have been having too much fun all day! It's time someone put a stop to it!" said Daffy. He didn't know about everyone else but he was really tired of those rabbits.

Pepe le Pu grabbed Penelope. "So what do we do madamoizelle?" He started kissing her. She punched him in the nose.

"I say we do this the old fashioned way! We do this with our fists! We'll punch them right square in the nose. They'll be begging for mercy! I've got a few words for that Lola Bunny anyway!" said Henry Hawk. He was ready to get back at Lola. He already had a bandage on his nose.

"That's pointless! I've got a basement full of dynamite. Let's put some use to it and blow those varmints to smithereenees!" said Yosemite Sam.

Then everyone started talking at once. "I say we shoot them!" Elmer Fudd said. "I agree with nature boy!" said Daffy. "CRUSH!" Crusher yelled. "Beep! Beep!" Road Runner said. "They can say good-bye to their lights!" said Hubie. "Yeah yeah, sure sure."

"Now everyone let's settle this maturely!" said Porky Pig over the crowd.

Everyone paired up for rock, paper, scissors. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" they all said. "Hey what's rock?" asked Sylvester.

Daffy saw this as the perfect opportunity to take charge and be the leader for once since Bugs wasn't there. "What is this going to settle?! We've got to do_ something_! Like you've said they've been having too much fun today. I say first we form an angry mob and beat them up! Then while they're asleep we send them to some place far away like…uh…like…"

" Indonesia ! It's very cold there this time of year," said Speedy.

"Yeah, Indonesia ! Whose with me?!"

"YEAH!!!" everybody said.

"Can I still use the dynamite?" asked Sam.

"Bring all the dynamite you've got! Anybody got some pitchforks and torches?" asked Daffy.

"I do!" said a guy selling them on the street. Everyone grabbed some. "LET'S GO!!!" said Daffy.

**

Bugs and Lola walked into Broccoli and Carrots ( a restaurant that sold more than broccoli and carrots!) laughing histerically.

"I'll never forget those Telletubbies boxers!" Lola laughed.

"How exactly do you rip your pants on a broken croquet stick exactly?" said Bugs. He remembered the sight and started laughing again.

"That was so mean but so funny when you dropped Tweety Pie out the window!" said Lola.

"I would really hate to be the person who got into a fight with you!" said Bugs laughing at her punching Henry Hawk in the nose.

"What teacher wears tight clothes like that? Bad example I tell ya'!" said Lola.

"And when we made Road Runner slam into the cliff at full speed!" said Bugs. Road Runners happen to be attracted to blue, so they simply held up a blue sheet in front of the cliff.

They plopped down at one of the outdoor tables. Bugs propped his feet up on the table and Lola threw her legs over the arm of the chair. On top of the way they were laughing, you'd think someone had put alcohol in their carrot juice!

The waiter came over to them with his nose in the air.

"Eh, what's up Doc?" said Bugs. Lola giggled out of habit.

"If it started to rain all of a sudden you'd totally drown!" said Lola. Her and Bugs started cracking up again.

The waiter rolled his eyes. He pulled out his notepad. "May I take your order Mr. Bunny? Miss Bunny?"

Bugs held up a finger. "Hang on Doc; let me confer with my associate." He grabbed Lola and threw her into a long kiss.

The waiter leaned up against the table and rested his head in his hand. He waited. And waited. And waited. And he checked his watch. 49.9 seconds had gone by. 50 seconds. He waited. This was frustrating.

"Do you two ever breathe?!" the waiter asked. Bugs and Lola didn't take a breath for nothing. "I'll come back, Mr. and Mrs. Inappropriate." He mumbled. Then he walked away.

Bugs pulled away. "You crazy rabbit," said Lola gasping for air. That was LONG!

"That's why you love me!" said Bugs.

"So whose your associate?" asked Lola. Like Bugs she never liked being second in command.

"Oh, alright. How about partner in crime?" Bugs said.

"I'll take that," Lola said giggling.

Bugs was about to kiss her again but they noticed and angry mob coming. All of the Looney Tunes were in it.

"What's goin' on guys? You finally sueing Sam for his use of dynamite?" said Bugs. It was true though. Sam needed to be in jail somewhere.

"We're here for you varmints! Someone needs to teach you two a lesson!" said Sam.

"What have you got on us? We didn't do anything," said Lola.

Marvin the Martian pulled out a long list. "Blowing up Mars, making Tweety Bird cry, blowing up Mars, teasing and taunting several people, blowing up Mars, punching Henry Hawk in the nose, _blowing up Mars!_..."

"You can quit it with the blowing up Mars thing. It's still there anyway," said Lola. "There really isn't any intelligent life out there in the universe," she mumbled to Bugs.

"A likely story," Marvin said. Everyone knows 10 fireworks can blow up any planet bigger than your own. DUH!

"We're gonna run you out of town! Beat you up where you stand! Rip your ears off! You should really be nicer…" said Daffy. He was on a roll but Bugs just had to cut him off.

"No you're not!" said Bugs.

"Yes we are!" said Daffy.

"No you're not!" said Bugs.

"Yes we are!" said Daffy.

"Yes you are!" said Bugs.

"No we're not!" said Daffy.

"Yes you are!" said Bugs.

"No we're not so deal with it!" said Daffy.

"Suit yourself," said Bugs. "Hey waiter, two glasses of carrot juice please and thank you!"

Sylvester slapped Daffy and gave him a look that said _do you realize what you just said?!_ Daffy recounted what just happened. He gasped. Dumb rabbit! "Yes we are!"

"Yes you are what duck?" asked Bugs.

"We're gonna run you out of town! Beat you up where you stand! Rip your ears off…" said Daffy. He didn't realize he was repeating what he just said. He expected this to be uninterrupted though.

"No your not!" said Bugs.

"Yes we…"

"Let's go…uh…get this over with. My stories come on in…hal…uh…thirty minutes!" said Porky Pig. I swear, he thought, Bugs and Daf…Du…Daffy act like children!

"CHARGE!!!" shouted Sam all of a sudden. He also planned on watching his stories. Jane had broke up with Evan who's sister was in jail for arson whose best friend was shot and her mother had died of a sudden heart attack…it goes on okay!

Everyone ran at Bugs and Lola who had just sat down with their carrot juice. They took off running. Bugs grabbed Lola's hand and tossed her onto his back. "Where are we going?" she asked. "My house," said Bugs.

Well this isn't going according to plan, Daffy thought. They couldn't catch them anyway. They jumped into Bugs' rabbit hole and Bugs locked the door.

"Well that takes care of them. What now?" Bugs asked.

"I guess we hang out here," said Lola.

"Alright. I'm glad I've got some food I'm starving. Want anything?" Bugs said.

"Carrot sandwiches?" Lola suggested.

"'Kay."

For the rest of the night they sat on the couch eating. They watched Terminator. Lola was squeezing Bugs' hand pretty tight trying not to scream on some parts.

They played Monopoly Here and Now and they both accused each other of cheating. "You got too much money for passing go!" said Lola. "You didn't pay enough income tax!" said Bugs. And in SORRY they accused each other of cheating for random reasons.

Later Bugs unlocked the door thinking the mob was gone. (Yeah right!)

They fell asleep at about 12:05 on the couch while watching SpongeBob Squarepants.

Once they were asleep Daffy, Porky, Foghorn, Sylvester, Sam, Wile E., and Road Runner got together and snatched Bugs and Lola out of the house.

Road Runner got distracted and ended up watching TV and Wile E. tried to take this opportunity to eat him but Foghorn grabbed them both and slapped them in the face.

"Come on you guys! Stop messing around!" Daffy whispered.

They took them to the Acme Plane Station. They were serious with their plan. They put them on the plane then went home for the night.

"Well, that takes care of them," Daffy said. No more rabbit lovers' breaking and entering just to torment him about his Teletubbies!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The Looney Tunes Needed Better Revenge!

Lola woke up this morning to find herself in a strange place that was clearly not Bugs' living room. She woke up Bugs. "Bugs, where are we?"

"In my living room," said Bugs who was still half asleep.

"No, look!" Lola said. There was people sailing boats through rivers, markets and stores, and jewelry, fruit, fish, etc., stands lining the streets. To your left there were monkeys swinging in the trees and to your right were cows up for sale.

Bugs woke up. His eyes bugged out in surprise. What the heck! "Okay this really isn't my living room. I'd say we're in either Spain , Germany , or Hawaii …"

Lola looked at the sign behind her. "Welcome to Indonesia ," she read.

"No, no, we're down on Main Street. Trust me," Bugs said.

"Bugs we're in Indonesia!" Lola said. Bugs looked around. He looked at the sign Lola saw. Then he realized what was going on. "Those idiots!" he said realizing what had happened.

"They put us on a plane to this place while we were asleep. Those guys are really, really weird," said Lola. "I know they might be a little sore at us but come on!"

"Those guys are a sad excuse for some Looney Tunes. They honestly think we don't have money for a ride back. C'mon, let's go," Bugs said getting up. He planned on going back home and showing those guys a thing or two!

"Wait! Let's have some fun while we're here, like a vacation. There's no point in leaving and like you said, we both have money," Lola said. Omg! The sights, the food, the fun, just the two of us alone with no interruptions…this will be like heaven.

Bugs and Lola checked in at the Indo International Hotel or "Indo Intronatinal" as they called it. Their room was huge and it had a beautiful view of the ocean. And they had fresh clothes in the closet exactly their size! Lola put on a camouflage shirt, jean skirt and a camouflage scrunchie to match. Bugs put on blue jeans, red jacket, and dark sunglasses. Style in Indonesia!

Bugs sat on the king sized bed. "I still can't believe they did this! They honestly think we're broke!"

Lola turned away from the mirror. "Okay Bugs what did you do?" Lola knew Bugs did something. Nobody carries around enough money for a five star hotel etc.

"Okay you've got me! I suspected something so I simply got a bunch of money out of my safe. I wasn't takin' any chances."

Lola sat next to him. "You are so devious."

"Think of it this way, if I wasn't we'd be on the street right now begging for money and mercy. Now let's have some fun!"

They left the hotel and went to an interesting Indo restaurant. Their food wasn't nearly as bad as Pepe le Pu's yesterday and it didn't send Lola running away screaming!

They went sightseeing. Lola bought a digital camera and they went practically everywhere!

They went to the beach and played volleyball with some Indo people. Bugs ended up hitting someone in the head with the ball at least three times. Some Indo person named Bohbo tripped Lola up and she fell on a crab. So she was jumping around with a crab attached to her butt. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" After a while the poor crab gave up and let go.

They ate dinner at some fancy restaurant. It was called steak and cheese Indonesian Style*. But Lola practically had to drag Bugs in.

"No way! I ain't going into that crazy place! They sell rats there! And rabbits!" he yelled.

"But you chose the place for breakfast and lunch!" said Lola. "Stop being a baby!"

"But everyone knows where they sell steak they sell rabbits! I…" Then he took a look at the menu. Carrot soup, Carrot Cuisine, Deep fried carrots, steamed carrots, carrot gelatin, carrot hoers devours, carrot fruit salad, carrot cake! "Ay, ay, ay!" He jumped off the ground. "Let's go sweet cheeks!" He kissed her.

"You're welcome," Lola said. I take it he must be happy. "Maybe you'll start listening to me."

Then they went to the casino where they won all their money back and more! The guy they played against tried to convince them to do two out of three but Bugs and Lola weren't taking any chances. The dude they played against sat down and cried. Lola felt sorry for them so she convinced Bugs to give him five bucks.

"Wait a second!" said Bugs before he forked over the five. He took out a permanent marker and wrote $5.00 on a $1.00 bill. Then he handed over the "five".

Lola looked disapprovingly at him. Bugs shrugged. "You never said it had to be five bucks!" Bugs pointed out.

That night they hung out in the sparkling pool at Indo Intronatinal. They wore the awesome swinsuits the hotel had provided. They had been out there for at least an hour. Bugs had thrown Lola into the pool. They had a splash fight. And they raced across the pool. It was close. Guess who won. They both had even jumped off the highest high dive on the continent!

Now it was late, around 11:30 actually. They floated near the edge of the pool looking at the beautiful moon with their ears locked together.

"They really think they did something bad," said Bugs. He held Lola even tighter to him.

"We should ask them to do this revenge thing more often. Maybe they'll send us to Australia next time," said Lola rubbing his ears out of habbit. She kissed him.

"Or Hawaii," Bugs said. He kissed Lola back.

They leaned up against each other with their ears still locked together. They stared at the night sky and the gorgeous moon.

**

Back at home Daffy, Porky, Foghorn, Sylvester, Sam, Wile E., and Road Runner sat in a circle in the grass in Porky's back yard looking at the stars.

"What do you think they're doing now?" asked Sylvester. He hoped they weren't having fun.

"Begging for mercy. Sitting on the street begging for food and money to get home," said Daffy. Right now they were enjoying the peace and quiet. Bugs and Lola deserved that rude awakening anyway!

"I say, should we go get them?" asked Foghorn.

Road Runner shook his head. "Beep, Beep!"

"We'll pick them up in a cou…coupl…eh…uh…few days," Porky said.

"Do we have to? I'm enjoying life without those varmints," Sam asked. He never wanted to see them again. Especially Bugs!

Wile E. held up a sign that said "Ditto!"

"Y…y…yes," said Porky.

"WHY!!!" the rest of them asked at the same time. They all sat up and stared at Porky. Was this guy crazy?

"Because it's the ri…ri…right thing to do," Porky said.

"Who says we do the right thing?" asked Sam sarcastically.

"You don't" Sylvester said. Sam rolled his eyes. He would've pulled out Lorraine but he chose not to ruin the moment for once.

"I say you guys, nobody's that heartless!" said Foghorn. "You'll all get bored without Bugs Bunny. And then you won't have Lola around to kick your butt."

They all laughed. "Puh-lease!" said Daffy. "I can live without those two for a while, thank you."

"Alright, I'll go get them…on Wednesday," said Sylvester. Wednesday was a week later.

"Beep, Beep!" Road Runner agreed.

They lay back in the grass peacefully. Yeah they would go get them eventually. But they could've gone to get them in three weeks and you know Bugs and Lola wouldn't have cared. They were livin' it u!

Even though the Looney Tunes' plan totally back fired, what they don't know won't hurt them. They just have to think of better revenge next time.

THA'TS ALL

FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



6


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